Say Anything

Years ago I went to visit my late Nan in a retirement home. At the time my daughter was only a few months old and as I walked through the corridors, quite a few residents came up to say hello and look at the baby. One man approached me, smiled at my daughter and gave her head a gentle pat. “What’s her name?” he asked. “Asha,” I replied.

He stopped, looked at me in exasperation and cried, “They’ll call children anything these days!”

Brilliant! After he shuffled away I told my mother, “I can’t wait to get old. You can say absolutely anything to anyone.” It’s always been an aspiration of mine to be the old lady that sits on her porch while the kids in the neighbourhood cross the road to avoid her honest mean comments. (Well, that happens now but the kids are my own).

English writer, Ian Martin has just turned 60 and to mark the milestone,he has penned 60 thoughts about turning 60. Here are my favourites:

1. People who "hate getting old" are idiots. Every year is a privilege. Let me tell you, callow miserabilists: getting to 60 feels like a triumph. I have no idea how I made it this far, but I am very grateful.

6. When someone starts a sentence "I'm not being …", they always are.

7. Actions speak louder after four pints.

10. Grandparenthood is a beautiful revelation. You have kids, you know you will never experience that feeling of unconditional love for anyone else, ever, and then it happens all over again. A heart-stoppingly beautiful miracle.

23. Sixty observations is suddenly feeling like quite a lot, to be honest.

34. Bah!

56. Before you say anything nasty about someone, just pause for a second and browse through some really good adjectives in your head.

There’s something to be said for saying what’s on your mind and speaking the truth. So much more interesting than towing the line.

With that in mind, here’s some of mine:


1.  I find Justin Timberlake’s music overwhelmingly underwhelming (although he seems nice, funny and a good actor ... sorry, I’m not copping out but honesty is one thing and totally trashing people on the internet is another)

2. What is the point of wine racks? Storing the empties before recycling day?

3.  I like both Apple and Moses as human names.

4.  For everyone confused about all this tech talk of the ‘cloud’ I’ll let you in on a little secret: ... it means “the internet”. End of.

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Research reveals that children who eat their crusts have curly hair

You don't say?

It seems everywhere we turn there is research revealing how to stack a dishwasher; that eating greens is good for you; that daughters benefit from being around their mothers; that we are more likely to die by being hit by a falling toilet than eaten by a shark. 

Rather than feeling we have been educated, our reactions are often either skeptical "what BS!", indifferent "why is this necessary to know?" or unimpressed "I could have told you that for free without the help of a 6 year, $2million study".

Has research lost its power to impress? Are we becoming pedantic, over-sharing, over-reliant followers of dubious data samples? Do we need to become more judicious with issues we deem worthy of a) research and b) cocky about proving or making arguments based on the results? 

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Quest for the Best

Remember in Pulp Fiction when Vincent Vega couldn't believe Mrs Mia Wallace ordered a milk shake retailing at an exorbitant  $5? That almost seems like a bargain price today. 

The collective we of consumers seem to be on a maniacal quest to find ways to spend our money, so those that invent and produce stuff are given the opportunity to do so – the higher the quality, the more and more they can charge.

If we want to run, we need to buy the most expensive shoes for the best performance. If we want to start bike riding, why would we bother buying a second hand pushy for $50 when we can spend $2,000 on something really schmick? We could, but price invariably brings prestige and excellence. And we certainly deserve that. Not to mention, it’s our money so we can do what we like with it.

To convince people to pay more for what they offer, when it comes to craftsmanship, attention to detail, presentation and customer service; all entrepreneurs must bring it. That’s the Rules of Business 101, right?

Then for Jack Rabbit Slim’s sake, let the standard of marketing reflect the worth.

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Lyric Love: Same Love

This site is dedicated to words, expression, creative craft and speaking from the heart. There's no more intense love of a song than when you pour over, analyse and repeat the words of your latest song obsession. It happens a lot when you're a teenager and if you're lucky continues throughout your life. This is the source of my latest lyric love (formerly known on this site as My Lyrics of the Day):

Image: FUNKYAH

Same Love

When I was in the 3rd grade

I thought that I was gay

Cause I could draw, my uncle was

And I kept my room straight

I told my mom, tears rushing down my face

She's like, "Ben you've loved girls since before pre-K"

Trippin', yeah, I guess she had a point, didn't she

A bunch of stereotypes all in my head

I remember doing the math like

"Yeah, I'm good at little league"

A pre-conceived idea of what it all meant

For those that like the same sex had the characteristics

The right-wing conservatives think it's a decision

And you can be cured with some treatment and religion

Man-made, rewiring of a pre-disposition

Playing God

Ahh nah, here we go

America the brave

Still fears what we don't know

And God loves all his children it's somehow forgotten

But we paraphrase a book written

3,500 years ago

I don't know

And I can't change

Even if I tried

Even if I wanted to

And I can't change

Even if I tried

Even if I wanted to

My love, my love, my love

She keeps me warm  

If I was gay

I would think hip-hop hates me

Have you read the YouTube comments lately

"Man that's gay"

Gets dropped on the daily

We've become so numb to what we're sayin'

Our culture founded from oppression

Yet we don't have acceptance for 'em

Call each other faggots

Behind the keys of a message board

A word rooted in hate

Yet our genre still ignores it

Gay is synonymous with the lesser

It's the same hate that's caused wars from religion

Gender to skin color

Complexion of your pigment

The same fight that lead people to walk-outs and sit-ins

Human rights for everybody

There is no difference

Live on! And be yourself!

When I was in church

They taught me something else

If you preach hate at the service

Those words aren't anointed

And that Holy Water

That you soak in

Is then poisoned

When everyone else

Is more comfortable

Remaining voiceless

Rather than fighting for humans

That have had their rights stolen

I might not be the same

But that's not important

No freedom 'til we're equal

Damn right I support it

I don't know

We press play

Don't press pause

Progress, march on!

With a veil over our eyes

We turn our back on the cause

'Till the day

That my uncles can be united by law

Kids are walkin' around the hallway

Plagued by pain in their heart

A world so hateful

Some would rather die

Than be who they are

And a certificate on paper

Isn't gonna solve it all

But it's a damn good place to start

No law's gonna change us

We have to change us

Whatever god you believe in

We come from the same one

Strip away the fear

Underneath it's all the same love

About time that we raised up

Love is patient, love is kind

Love is patient (not cryin' on Sundays)

Love is kind (not crying on Sundays)

Same Love - Macklemore & Ryan Lewis

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Wrap your laughing gear around these gems

I was watching one of those fascinating Louis Theroux specials on US prisons not long ago and one of the inmates had set himself a task of learning one new word from the dictionary per day. On request, he recited a couple of the most recent additions to his repertoire. One of these was 'kookaburra'. Understandably, with presumably few Aussie inmates on hand to help him finesse the pronunciation, it took me a while to recognise that it was in fact an Australian  bird to which he was referring.

At any rate I rated it a noble resolution. I too love discovering terms that were previously unknown to me; the real challenge is to find opportunities to flex the vocab muscle without a) getting it wrong and b) sounding like a complete tosser.

For extra points, what about learning and using words from languages other than english? Je vous défie! 

With this in mind, I was delighted to become well learned and wise thanks to this list of extremely useful words for which there are no English translations. I can't take credit for the compilation (it's my first week back at work and the Australian Open is keeping me up to ungodly hours in the morning so I thank Alex Wain for doing the honours and allowing me to ease into 2013 brain functionality ...). Don't even bother trying to tell me there's not something in there you need to utter immediately if not sooner.

1 Age-otori (Japanese): To look worse after a haircut

2 Arigata-meiwaku (Japanese): An act someone does for you that you didn’t want to have them do and tried to avoid having them do, but they went ahead anyway, determined to do you a favor, and then things went wrong and caused you a lot of trouble, yet in the end social conventions required you to express gratitude

3 Backpfeifengesicht (German): A face badly in need of a fist

4 Bakku-shan (Japanese): A beautiful girl… as long as she’s being viewed from behind

5 Desenrascanço (Portuguese): “to disentangle” yourself out of a bad situation 

6 Duende (Spanish): a climactic show of spirit in a performance or work of art, which might be fulfilled in flamenco dancing, or bull-fighting, etc.

7 Forelsket (Norwegian): The euphoria you experience when you are first falling in love

8 Gigil (pronounced Gheegle; Filipino): The urge to pinch or squeeze something that is unbearably cute

9 Guanxi (Mandarin): in traditional Chinese society, you would build up good guanxi by giving gifts to people, taking them to dinner, or doing them a favor, but you can also use up your gianxi by asking for a favor to be repaid

10 Ilunga (Tshiluba, Congo): A person who is ready to forgive any abuse for the first time, to tolerate it a second time, but never a third time

11 L’esprit de l’escalier (French): usually translated as “staircase wit,” is the act of thinking of a clever comeback when it is too late to deliver it

12 Litost (Czech): a state of torment created by the sudden sight of one’s own misery

13 Mamihlapinatapai (Yaghan): A look between two people that suggests an unspoken, shared desire

14 Manja (Malay): “to pamper”, it describes gooey, childlike and coquettish behavior by women designed to elicit sympathy or pampering by men. “His girlfriend is a damn manja. Hearing her speak can cause diabetes.”

15 Meraki (pronounced may-rah-kee; Greek): Doing something with soul, creativity, or love. It’s when you put something of yourself into what you’re doing

16 Nunchi (Korean): the subtle art of listening and gauging another’s mood. In Western culture, nunchi could be described as the concept of emotional intelligence. Knowing what to say or do, or what not to say or do, in a given situation. A socially clumsy person can be described as ‘nunchi eoptta’, meaning “absent of nunchi”

17 Pena ajena (Mexican Spanish): The embarrassment you feel watching someone else’s humiliation

18 Pochemuchka (Russian): a person who asks a lot of questions

19 Schadenfreude (German): the pleasure derived from someone else’s pain

20 Sgriob (Gaelic): The itchiness that overcomes the upper lip just before taking a sip of whisky

21 Taarradhin (Arabic): implies a happy solution for everyone, or “I win. You win.” It’s a way of reconciling without anyone losing face. Arabic has no word for “compromise,” in the sense of reaching an arrangement via struggle and disagreement

22 Tatemae and Honne (Japanese): What you pretend to believe and what you actually believe, respectively

23 Tingo (Pascuense language of Easter Island): to borrow objects one by one from a neighbour’s house until there is nothing left

24 Waldeinsamkeit (German): The feeling of being alone in the woods

25 Yoko meshi (Japanese): literally ‘a meal eaten sideways,’ referring to the peculiar stress induced by speaking a foreign language

Can anyone confirm whether there is a foreign equivalent of: that's what I'm talking 'bout! ... ?

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